over the years I've changed up how and what I keep track of in the notebooks. it's turned into more of a journal than anything where I write out my thoughts on a particular idea or ideas on what direction I should steer my efforts.
lately though, it seems most of my entries are short and directionless. maybe a simple line of "played along with some songs", which is not nothing, but it's hardly advancing my knowledge or skills at all. many of which, though, read like, "maybe i should do this or that", or "i'm unmotivated. i should do something". at the very minimum it says i sat down with my instrument with the intentions of working on stuff. it says that it has become a part of my daily routine. it is not a hobby or an interest anymore, it's a part of my life.
about a year ago I took out the first notebook and started flipping through. I was quite blown away by reading my thoughts as I was learning and piecing stuff together. it becomes easy to take for granted concepts that I have internalized and use on a daily basis. simple things like basic music theory that seem so obvious now at one time were unknown and mysterious to me. it's exciting to read a particular entry were i had an ah-ha! moment which got me over a previously tall hurdle. i remember the feeling of accomplishment and it gave me more motivation to sit down the next day and use my newfound knowledge.
of course i came across entries when i was in a rut, directionless, unmotivated, or otherwise pretty unhappy with my progress. but here's the thing, those notebooks are the tangible evidence of all that i've learned. those notebooks are physical proof that i have passed through many rough spots only to come back and continue learning and improving. on a day-to-day basis it can be hard to see how far i've come but i have to recognize what progress i have made and be proud of that. tomorrow there's more work to do.
