recently i've been working on some stuff. it's a lot of stuff. i'm working on getting my fretboard knowledge together and it's... a lot. i'm up for the challenge, though.

it's not hard material. it's become apparent to me that music really isn't an intellectual pursuit. i mean, it can be if you want it to, but for the most part it's really not. it's exactly no more intellectual than going to the gym and listening to a podcast about true crime while mindlessly doing leg lifts. well i'm only kinda exaggerating... but not by much.

the stuff i'm working on right now involves high volume of very basic memorization and repetition. there's not much thought behind it, though you do have to actually focus. i've been getting in about three 25-minute session per day on this material worked in around the other stuff i'm also practicing. since the goal is to not just memorize but to internalize the material, i'm putting in a lot of frequent practice so that it is fresh at all times. right now it's first thing in the morning, after work, and then likely another session sometime in the evening. i've found this method is better for me than one longer session once a day.

so i sat down last night for likely the 3rd session of the day and i got to work. i know the material. this week alone i've played it literally at least a hundred times but i was stumbling, forgetting what came next, and straight up blanking on stuff. this is stuff that a few hours earlier i was seeing as clear as day and playing with no issues. i wrapped it up after 15 minutes unplugged my bass. that was it for the night.

i was pretty bummed. i've spent so much time and energy on this material this past month and i was still struggling to remember it sometimes, and often it might take me a few beats to figure it out if i did remember it. i went to bed a bit disappointed in myself and unhappy with the lack of progress.

today while i was going about my morning and doing my sunday cleaning i thought about it... and thought about it some more. it became clear to me that perhaps i was being a bit unreasonable with my expectations. i had indeed learned and memorized the material. i could recall it and explain in exquisite detail what it was and why. see, that's the thing about non-intellectual exercises, they're so surface-level and "easy" that it seems reasonable to master them in short order. there in lies the rub and why many people likely stop way too early.

there is a difference between memorizing and internalizing... and i knew that. i have memorized it. internalizing it, though, may take months... or even years i suppose, depending on how much i use what i've learned. but the internalization of material is the long game. that's the goal and expecting to have it internalized in a few weeks is unreasonable.

the 3 sessions a day may be necessary right now to get the material under my fingers and i'll continue to do them with as much energy and focus as i can muster. i know that at some some point in the future the material will be internalized and looking back it will seem strange i ever saw things any other way. in the meantime i just need to keep my expectations in check and trust the process.