so there was a bit of unfortunateness recently. bill bates, the one of the guitarists from the last band i was in, passed away rather unexpectedly last week. it's a bummer, but it happens.

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there is a memorial show that is being put on so we're "getting the band back together" as it were... you know, as a memorial. that though, means i have to relearn all of the old tunes. "no probs" i think to myself because that was like 5 years ago and i've been playing ever since. like, i practice, man. so i queue up the first track and uh... nope. i haven't a clue what i'm playing.

that's okay because i can figure it out... i've been practicing. uh... yikes... this is hard.so i try the next track and it's the same thing... no idea what i was playing. hmm.... this is humbling.

i kinda kicked a can for a bit and was a little discouraged. i thought about it and was more discouraged. i know conclusively that i've learned so much since then. i know that i had no idea what i was doing when the songs were recorded. i also know that i feel bad that i'm not better at this point. so what gives?

welp, i think that i am indeed better than i was... just not in the ways that seem obvious. somewhere in the back of my head i thought that i'd been a seasoned pro by now or something and my rhythm would be bang on and my licks toight. that would be nice but that's not what i've been doing with my time. certainly since starting to learn jazz i've gone back to the drawing board with how i conceptualize music. hearing in from a different perspective, approaching it from a different angle, and using it in a different way aren't exactly overt improvements like say, "playing fast", but they are big improvements. i'd say they are improvements with much longer legs than hot licks and an iron-maidenesque gallop.

so i took my time and i learned the parts as close as i could to the recordings and i must say, for not knowing what i was doing some of the stuff is pretty close to what i might do now. or at least now i can explain why it works in that context. so maybe i'm not as hot on the bass as i'd hoped but i'm far from done with it. everyday i get up and play it and i enjoy every minute of it.