this past week was the memorial show for bill bates and it was well attended. people had a lot of nice things to say about him.
it was the first show i've played in about a year and a half. as far as i'm concerned, i played less good than i did when we were still a band...4 years ago. it was a long drive home. i've chewed on it since then and i've come to some conclusions or otherwise just plain truths.
one: playing live and practicing in the bedroom are not the same. this is obvious but i'll expand it a bit. practicing in the bedroom is when we learn new skills, techniques, and hone our craft. it's the safe space where we can experiment and make mistakes, play slow, play sloppy, and play whatever with no consequences. it's a laboratory where we have control over all the conditions so we can learn the fastest and play our bestest. playing a show, however, is the exact opposite as the lab. it's where we perform whatever it is we've learned and not the place for honing technique. performance is an entirely separate skill that requires it's own practice to perfect and that is something i have not done. sure in my bedroom i may have spent a ton of time in the lab and developed certain skills that i have proudiness of, but that does not guarantee it translates into performance in front of people in the slightest. all aspects of music are their own skill and need to be worked on to develop them to any level.
two: i've made a conscious choice to not be a performer so it's unreasonable for me to think i can just hop up on a stage and be golden. hell, i choke i my skype lessons with todd on material that i've spent the past month working on. material that i had down cold just hours before i hop on skype and suddenly the past 4 weeks become a nebulous blur and i fumble my way through a piece. this is okay. if i want to become a performer i know what i'd have to do to hone that skill.
three: what i am practicing isn't enough for what i want to achieve. that means going back to the drawing board with my routine and taking a hard look at what needs to change. it would appear to be the execution of music is what needs some serious attention. maybe that falls under performance a bit but when i'm alone in my room it's straight execution. i guess this would mostly fall under technique. i'm sloppy. i know i've slacked off on my rhythm and timing chops this past year and it's showing. i've already dusted off some of my old tried-and-true exercises with the metronome and wuuff... they're ruff for sure.
aside from the purpose of the show, for me it was a measuring stick on my own personal progress and it wasn't quite what i had hoped. welp, i have my work cut out for me.
