ugh.

so. i've been avoiding the thing that i've needed to work on the most because... well, it's just that uncomfortable to do. i mean, that is a trap of practicing/playing, right? we, certainly i, will end up practicing the things i'm already not bad at because it's easy and sounds good. i find it super easy to sit down at the start of a practice session and write out a practice plan and have things broken down in sections complete with the time i'll spend working on them. it makes me feel like i'm doing the work and being diligent. here is the proof that i've been putting the time in.

only. i've been misleading myself. or maybe straight up lying. no, that's too overt. i think i've been lying through omission or at least through looking the other way. i've been avoiding the thing that i needed the most work on because it's so uncomfortable to work on. it's not as clearcut as doing reps of a certain exercise or arpeggios, etc. no, it's way more nebulous than that so it's difficult to package it up for a tidy practice routine.

improvisation. that's what i've been avoiding. in particular, melodic improvisation. UF, it's uuuugh... the worst. or is it? i had told todd about it during our last lesson and that i've really found it hard to break into and he sorta chuckled and was like "yeeeah". okay, so it's not just me, so that makes me feel a little better, but it doesn't help me get a handle on this nonsense. so we talked about some things, he told some anecdotes that pertain to the situation, i felt less bad, and then the lesson ended. i went to work and gave it a good sturdy think.

what i decided to do, at least for the short term or foreseeable future, was to literally toss out my entire practice routine that i have been using for years and double down on this one thing. i feel like it is important enough for me to put everything else aside to at least get my head around it enough that i can figure out a way to effectively practice it within my regular routine. so that's what i've been doing.

most of my practice session involves transcriptions. i'll spend time with walking basslines because bread and butter, but then i'll spend most of the time working with melodic transcriptions. i'll find a lick somewhere that i like, most likely one i hear commuting to or from work, and then i'll transcribe it as best as i can in my head. when i get home i'll check it on the bass and make any changes if necessary (sometimes i nail it on the first try, which is nuts). but then here's the whole trick, i have to take that lick and figure out how to use it in whatever it is i'm currently working on (miles/cannonball's autumn leaves). i have to figure out what chords i can smash it over, how the rhythm fits, if it's straight i gotta swing it, i have to work it in with other licks i'm using, etc. i have to chew on it for a good long while and then it just sorta becomes... mine.

now, i know this is what the pros say to do. i've been hearing it for years. but i had to be in the right place in my journey, in the right mindset, to be able to see the value and utility of this process. a year ago i don't think it would have clicked as hard, if at all. but it has now. it's only a beginning for the process but i've gotten over that initial hurdle of avoidance. it's hard as shit but i'm having fun doing it. each day that i sit down and work something new in, even it's 3 notes, it's exciting because i'm doing it. 

i'm seeing how the process works, although i knew it before. when i'm commuting to work or if i'm listening to stuff at work and i have the mental bandwidth to devote to it, i'll hear a phrase that i like and want to transpose. i'll spend a few minutes and think about it... try to figure it out in my head. probably there's something about it that's familiar, maybe i can hear a triad being played or maybe it's just a whole step that pops out at me. i can grab onto that and try to place the rest of the phrase around it. when i get home i'll first try out what i thought was correct and then go from there. a few times i've been 90-100% correct, go me. usually though i'm kinda right and likely need a little fixing to get it totally right. but here's the trick, i don't just dive in and start fishing... that would get me there but it's not helping the process. instead i'll put the bass down and think about the part(s) i got wrong and then try to reassess what i'm hearing. this is certainly the much slower and more difficult path but it is developing my ear way faster.

this is the hardest part of music i've ever had to grapple with but that is a good indication that the payoff will be worth it. i mean, it's hard to judge progress when you're always at the bottom of a hill. what i always forget, though, is the hills i've already climbed and where that's taken me.